Finally Safe
by hippiecat
Summary: First fanfiction. They are older Derek's 23 and Chloe's 21 AU. Chloe goes out for drinks with Tori and on her way home something happens. She wakes up confused. Not knowing where else to go, she runs to Derek. Hope you like it. Sorry for the terrible summary. /This story has been completely redone\\\\\
1. Chapter 1

I awoke to a persistent dripping noise. Confused and disoriented, I sat up looking around. I was strewn across a damp mattress that lacked sheets. Surrounding it were some cardboard boxes. Some were open revealing packing peanuts and what looked like car parts. Something wet hit my face causing me to look up. The ceiling of whatever building I was in had a leak and had been soaking the mattress I was laying on. It was then that I noticed my lack of clothing. I searched my surroundings frantically while trying to recall how my night ended. The last think I remembered was walking home for getting drinks with Tori. I hadn't had much to drink because I'm not much of a drinker. I insisted on walking home, since it was only a block or so and then the rest was fuzzy. I may have had a couple, but there was no way I was drunk enough to have a complete lapse in memory. I'm not even sure I had a buzz.

I found my clothes randomly scattered around me. I dressed quickly, trying to find my shoes, my purse, or anything that could jog my memory. As I stumbled over a box, I remembered a hand grabbing me by the waist and another clamping down over my mouth. _Oh my God, what happened to me?_ I hurried and found my clutch, amazed to see that it and its contents were intact. At that point I could care less about shoes; I just had to get out of there.

I scrambled out an exit into the torrential rain. I broke out into a run struggling to distance myself from that place. I didn't even realize where I was going until I ended up in front of Derek's apartment: wet, cold, and crying.

He answered the door clearly surprised. "Chloe, what are yo-what happened? What's wrong?" he reached for me, and I flinched, remembering rough hands shoving me onto the mattress. "Chloe, I won't hurt you," Derek said softly. "It's okay, just come inside." He guided me into his living room. "Did someone hurt you?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't find my voice. Instead I broke out into fresh tears. Derek wrapped me in his warm arms. "Shh, it's alright now." I stood there for what seemed like days just listening to the steady beat of his heart and sobbing into his t-shirt. I would have stayed like that longer except Derek broke the comforting silence. "Chloe, why don't you take a hot shower? I can tell you're freezing."

I nodded in agreement.

He led me through his bedroom into the connected bathroom. "The towels are in that cabinet, and I'll dig up some dry clothes for you to wear. I'll set them right outside the door."

I nodded.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," he said softly.

I waited for him to step out before undressing and looking in the mirror. _No wonder Derek was so horrified._ I started at the top and worked my way down. I had mascara smeared all down my face and a slight bruise forming near my right eye. I had a large ring-like bruise forming around my waist, presumably from when I was grabbed. Then I noticed the bruising around my hips and upper thighs. At that point I had to look away. I couldn't remember how I received those, but I wasn't sure I wanted to. I could feel that events of the past night on my skin. The details may have been blurry, but I was sure they we unwanted. I climbed into the shower and let the hot water run over my back. I collapsed onto the shower floor, the weight of reality defeating me, and once again I was a sobbing mess.

At some point Derek knocked softly on the door, "Chloe? I set the clothes right outside, okay?"

I couldn't answer, tears still choking my throat.

"Chloe? Are you okay?" I still couldn't answer him. "Damn it Chloe, if you don't answer me I'm coming in." He waited for me to say something, and then entered hearing only my silence. "Chloe?" He reached to pull the shower curtain back, and I hid my head between my knees because I couldn't bear to look at him. He turned off the shower and wrapped a fluffy towel around me, and just held me and let my cry.

When my tears finally dried, Derek helped me step out of the shower. I felt at least somewhat refreshed. But no matter how hard I scrubbed I couldn't clear away the memories, snapshots of what happened the night before. Derek turned around to let me get dressed in the clothes he brought me. They clothes swallowed me but they were warm and soft.

"Come on, I'll fix you something to eat," he said quietly. I nodded and he led me into the kitchen, me following silently behind him. I sat down on a stool at the island in the middle of his kitchen.

He warmed up a steaming bowl of vegetable soup and set it in front of me. He raised a spoonful to my mouth and when I opened my mouth to protest he quickly shoved it in. Reluctantly I chewed the yummy but scalding soup. He raised another spoonful with a questioning look. I shook my head.

"Chloe, talk to me. You haven't spoken on word since "Chloe, talk to me. You haven't spoken on word since you got here. What happened?"

I didn't even know where to start or what to tell him. Apparently he could tell as much from the expression on my face, so he continued, "At least finish this soup, it's homemade." At this blatant lie, I gave a half smile, having seen him take it straight from a can. He gave me a knowing smile and pushed my still damp hair behind my ear.

After I finished my soup, Derek and I moved to the couch, where he wrapped me in a blanket and put an arm around my shoulder. He looked at me to see if that was okay.

I nodded still not up for conversation.

Seeing this he tucked me into his side and turned the discovery channel on quietly to fill the silence. I rested quietly next to him, slowly starting to feel better. "Chloe," he said softly, "you can stay here as long as you want, and I'll take the couch but please tell me what's going on. You don't have to, but I just want to be able to help."

"I-" I started but then the air caught in my throat. I was on the verge of tears again.

"Chloe, you'll always be safe here. You don't have to worry," Derek whispered reassuringly.

Maybe it's because I really did feel safe in Derek's arms, or maybe I just had to say it out loud, and that's why I had the courage to speak. I whispered so quietly I wasn't sure he had heard me. "I-I think I was r-raped."

I knew he heard because I felt him go tense. I waited for him to speak. He was hesitated before responding, "Why didn't you go to the hospital?"

"I don't know. I didn't know where else to go. I just wanted to feel . . . safe," I said in defeat.

Derek hesitated before he spoke. "Who- Who hurt you?" Derek asked in a low voice.

"I-I can't remember. All I remember is- is," then I started crying again.

"Oh, Chloe, I'm so sorry." He said wrapping me tighter in his arms, "You're safe here."

I leaned against him and just stayed there for a while listening. Then Derek got up and made dinner. We ate in the living room, while watching a movie on TV. We quietly made comments and talked about anything except the last twenty-four hours.

"It's getting late, are you tired?" I nodded with a yawn. He gently picked me up and carried me to his bed. He laid me down and pulled the covers up around my neck. Then he moved to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I got the couch," he answered.

"Oh," I said trying to find an excuse to make him stay.

During the night I woke form a nightmare to Derek's comforting voice. "Chloe, it's alright. It was just a dream. I've got you." I exhaled with relief. "Do you want to tell me what it was about?"

"It-I- It was- I-" Derek interrupted me.

"It's okay. You don't have to," he said.

"It was last night all over again," I whispered.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "You should get some rest. If you have another nightmare, I promise I'll wake you up."

"You need you're rest too," I said.

"You're sure it's okay?" he asked.

I nodded and he got up to leave. "Wait, what? No, please stay. Don't go."

He looked back at me then slowly turned. He hesitated before crawling under the covers with me. "You're safe with me, I promise."

Then I whispered, "I know."


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes fluttered open to meet a bare chest. For the second morning in a row, I woke confused. I started to panic, but relaxed when I realized it was only Derek. He was still asleep, his eyelids twitching with a dream. He pulled me closer enveloping me in his warmth, but oddly, I didn't mind. I lay there for a second before I slowly tried to remove myself from his grasp to get up.

He woke with a start, "What?" clutching me tight against him. Then realizing what he'd done, he stammered an apology. "I didn't mean- sorry."

"It's okay," I said with a small smile. Then very quietly, "Derek, where's, where's your shirt?"

"Oh, um," he said, his cheeks flushing pink, "I woke up in the middle of night hot. I'm sorry. But while I was up I washed your clothes."

"Oh, thanks," I said softly.

He smiled. "How about I make us some breakfast?"

"There's the Derek I know, always hungry."

"Is pancakes okay?" he asked getting out of bed and pulling on a shirt he picked up off the floor.

"Perfect," I smiled.

He left for the kitchen as I headed for the bathroom to see how awful I looked. I peeked in the mirror. The bruise around my eye had faded and the one around my waist had started yellowing, a sign that it was almost healed. However, the bruising around my hips was still black and blue, proof that it wasn't just a nightmare. _I would give anything to let it just be a nightmare._

I remembered much of what happened that night. Most of it I wished I hadn't. But I still couldn't remember my attacker's face.

I was sniffling when Derek knocked softly on the door. "Hey Chloe, the pancakes are ready."

"Alright, I'll be right out," I replied wiping my eyes. I opened the door to find Derek still standing there. "Oh!"

"Are you alright?" he asked concerned.

"I will be."

We ate breakfast mostly in silence. Toward the end, Derek asked me, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," I mumbled, shaking my head.

"Well, I'm always here for you."

I ate a few more bites of syrupy goodness then responded, "Why can't I remember his face?"

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" he asked, "If that's okay."

"Um, alright, " I said, "Well, I went out for drinks with Tori and you know I can't hold my liquor very well so I didn't drink much, Tori, however, was pretty wasted, so I made her take a cab home. She wanted me to come with her, but I thought I could walk home. It was only a few blocks. I promise I felt fine, but hen on my way home I-I-"

"You don't have to continue," Derek said.

"No, please, just let me get it out." I said, "On my way home I was grabbed from behind and dragged into a warehouse. That's where my memory gets fuzzy. I just remember bits and pieces, like screaming. I remember screaming as he- he- but I can't picture his face.'

"I'm so sorry," he said.

"Something just feels off about the whole night. I know there was no way I was drunk enough to forget something like that," I sighed.

"Do you think you were drugged?"

I shook my head. "Maybe, but I know better than to take a drink from someone."

Then the dryer buzzed signaling that my clothes were done. "Well, I guess I'll get those for you." He got up from the table, and left me to my thoughts.

When he came back I asked, "What should I do?"

"You're probably not going to like this but I think you need to go to the hospital. I can take you, but you need to get checked out." Before I could protest he continued, "You have to."

I nodded in submission and he took me to the hospital. The drive was rather quiet leaving me to look out the window as the city blurred by.

After sitting in the waiting room, I was taken to a room sectioned off with curtains. Derek was asked to leave, but he argued with the nurse that he wasn't leaving me until she let him stay. He held my hand through the examination until the doctor gave me a clean bill of health.

When we exited the hospital, I turned to Derek. "I need to go home. Can you take me to my apartment?"

"Sure, anything."

I got out of his car when we reached my apartment. I turned to him, "You can go home. I just want to be alone." I slowly made my way to the third floor. I unlocked to the door to my little studio apartment, everything exactly as I left it. I walked over to my radio and turned on some early jazz and went to open a bottle of red wine. While I was in the middle of pouring a very large glass of wine, there was a knock at my door.

Looking through the peephole to find Derek standing there. "What, Derek? I said I wanted to be alone," I yelled through the door.

"Please let me in," he pleaded. I opened the door and he pushed his way in. "I'm not leaving until I'm convinced you're okay. You've barely spoken, you're not acting like yourself, and I just need to know that you're okay."

Anger boiled up inside of me, "I was raped by some random stranger. He stole my innocence! I'm not supposed to feel okay!" I yelled.

Derek was shocked into silence, whether by my bluntness or what I said I wasn't sure. "What?"

"You don't have to look at me like that. It's not like I was saving myself for marriage. I'm sure there are other twenty-one year olds who haven't had sex yet," I said picking up my glass of wine and taking a large gulp.

"That's- I didn't mean it like that," he said still surprised. He stared at me. "What about Nate? You dated for a whil-I'm sorry I'm being insensitive."

"It's okay. It's just never felt right. I mean I loved him, but I'm not sure I was in love with him. I guess I'm just old fashioned."

We stood there just looking at each other before he said, "I guess I'll go, leave you be." He turned to go.

"You might as well stay now," I said sitting down on the couch. "Have a drink with me," I said raising my wine glass.

He took off his jacket with a smile, "Got anything other than wine?"

"There should be tequila in that cabinet right there," I said pointing.

"Maybe drinking with you isn't the best idea," he said with a laugh.

Several drinks later we were laid out of the couch, letting the letting the smooth sounds of jazz float over us. "I want to dance."

Derek stood and held out his hand, "May I have this dance?" He pulled me up and we slow danced around my tiny little living room, swaying back and forth. I had my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He had his chin resting on my head and a hand low on my back, just holding me.

I looked up at him and met his gaze. He slid one hand up to cradle my face lowered his lips to mine. His lips were soft and hesitant. He guided the kiss, leaving me breathless. It was a tender kiss, but then tongue swiped gently across my bottom lip, asking for entrance. My mouth parted and I moaned when his tongue twirled with mine. He pulled away and I whimpered.

"Chloe, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't- I need to go," Derek said grabbing his jacket and walking out the door. He left me said there, wondering what just happened.


	3. Chapter 3

I spent the better part of the next day, pretending like the past forty-eight hours hadn't happened. I wanted to forget what happened to me. I wanted to forget Derek's kiss. I threw myself into my work and my studies. If I stayed busy there was no time to analyze how I felt. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, something had changed between Derek and I. He was my best friend and I hadn't talked to him in a week, not that he had tried to talk either. I felt angry and hurt and very confused. Angry because he left me standing there. Hurt because of the look in his eyes when he walked out. Confused because he did the only logical thing. I didn't want to think about what all of that meant, so I kept to the mentality that we were drunk and it never should have happened. Not that it had, I was having a hard time not thinking about it. But damn him, if he thought I was going to just let it go.

Throughout the day I keep thinking of things I wanted to tell him or some picture that I know would make him laugh. _This is stupid, we are mature adults. We can chalk it up to being a little tipsy and forget it ever happened._ But for some reason I didn't want to, so I did the only thing I could think of. I called Tori.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hey Tori, I need you to come over as soon as you can. I might be in the middle of a crisis," I said in one giant spew.

"On my way."

"Come in," I answered the door with a glass of wine in my hand. "Come in."

"Something tells me that isn't you're first glass," she said eyeing the almost empty drink in my hand.

"I've almost finished the bottle."

"Shit. What happened to you?" she asked, shocked.

I could feel a bad case of word vomit coming on. "Someone attacked my on my way home, and Derek help me and we may have had a few drinks and then he kissed me, and then he left my standing there. Now we aren't talking and I feel so confused," I said in one fatal swoop.

"WHAT?" Tori yelled. "You were what?!"

"I may or may not have been attacked on my way home from drinks with you. I didn't tell you that?" I said guiltily.

"Uh-I-Wha-I don't even know where to start." Tori said, "Start from the beginning and slower."

After I finished telling her the whole sordid affair, I slumped down into my chair and hid behind my hands. "Well, it's about time. Isn't it obvious?" Tori said.

"Excuse you?" I looked at her questioningly.

"You love him." The she corrected, "Okay, maybe not yet, but you like him. He's been you're best friend since high school. You go to him when you're in trouble. He makes you feel safe. I've been waiting for you to come to this realization for years."

"What? I do not love him! He's like my brother!" I protested.

"If you believed that then you wouldn't feel so hurt. If he really is like a brother, then why do you feel rejected? Answer that my friend. Huh?" questioned Tori.

"Oh god! I am," I said in complete shock. _How did I not see this sooner? It's so do I do?_ "What do I do?"

"Talk. To. Him." Tori said, "You figure it out. Call me with the details."

As she walked out the door, I dialed his number and let it ring.


	4. Chapter 4

DEREK'S POV

My phone rang for the third time in the last five minutes, a rather unfortunate picture of Chloe lighting up the screen. I hit end, sending it straight to voicemail. I was too scared to pick up. . I didn't even what to think about what she was going to say. I couldn't see how it could be anything good. We'd been best friend since high school and I didn't want that to change. _What am I supposed to say to her?_ It had been a week since I talked to her, a week since I kissed her. I'd spent most of the week in a drunken stupor, trying and failing to forget that kiss, the way her lips felt against mine, the way she tasted. It was all too much. I heard the now familiar beep of my phone notifying me of a new voicemail and sighed.

"Alright, that's it! What happened?" Simon asked, "What the hell is up with you lately? You've been walking around like someone kicked your puppy all week."

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Don't play dumb. You're my brother. I'd like to think I know when something is wrong."

"Really, it's nothing," I answered.

"Damn it, stop being so stubborn and talk to me!" He said growing louder.

I looked at him and sighed. I could see it in his eyes that he wasn't letting this go anytime soon. "The other night . . . well," I let out a half hearted laugh, "Chloe and I may have had a bit too much to drink." I raked a hand through my hair. "I kissed her. I kissed her and then I bolted."

"Oh shit."

"If your goal was to make me feel like an asshole, you're succeeding, as if I don't feel bad enough," I nailed him with a glare.

"Sorry, I'm just a little shocked. I've only been waiting on this moment since we were in high school."

"What?" I asked wide-eyed, completely shocked.

"You finally pulled your head out of your ass and realized exactly how you feel about Chloe." Simon said, "It sure took you long enough."

"And how exactly do I feel about Chloe? 'Cause I'm not sure I'm following you," I said a little sarcastically.

Simon nailed me with that you've-got-to-be-kidding-me look. "You can't honestly tell me that you don't have feeling for her?"

"She's my best friend."

"Then your irrational hatred and disapproval for every guy Chloe has ever been interested

in was just friendly?"

"That's not-I was looking out for her." _He has it all wrong. I don't have feeling for Chloe. I care about her because she's my friend. Hell, she is practically my sister. _

Simon interrupted me, "Come on. Think about it." He paused. "I'm not blind. You can deny it all you want, but there is something there whether you see it or not."

I sat there, gears spinning, trying to process what he was saying.

"Look, I'm heading out, gonna let you figure things out. I'll call you later," he said heading toward the door. I heard a muffled exchanged of hellos coming from the doorway. "Hey Chloe . . . Uh, yeah . . . He's in there . . ."

I turned and there she was. Chloe in the flesh. She looked better than the week before. The bruising around her eye was all but gone and she'd lost that scared look in her eyes. She was beautiful. That realization shook me to my core. I had always thought Chloe was pretty, but somehow I had missed how incredibly beautiful she is. Her strength and her kindness, just everything about her creates this tangible energy around her.

"Derek?" she asked hesitant. She was looking at me so nervously, clearly uncomfortable. _Shit! I did this. This is my fault._

I realized I had been staring so I quietly greeted her, "Hi," I shook the fog from my head. There were a million things I need to say to her but all I could manage was, "Do you want something to drink?"

I could see the change in her expression. She went from calm to a light firecracker in seconds. I could see the spark in her eyes. "After this week, that's all you can say to me?" she said with anger coating her words.

I knew I needed to say something before she really laid into me. "Chloe, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking when I kissed you. I shouldn't have done that. You had been through so much and we had both been drinking. I should have known better. You were just looking at me with those fucking eyes and . . ." I raked my hand through my hair and covered my face. "Damn," I said softly with a half smile. _How had I not realized that I was deeply in love with this woman?_

I heard her slowly walk toward me. She lowered the hand covering my face and intertwined her fingers with mine. Her other hand slowly ran up my chest, my muscles tensing as she tickled her way to my neck. She pulled me to her and then she was kissing me. I wrapped my free hand through her hair and pulled her closer. "Chloe, what are we doing?" I whispered against her mouth. "Shouldn't we talk?

"Isn't it obvious?" she mumbled. "I don't want to talk right now."

"Chloe, god I'm really going to regret this, but I think we should talk."

She pulled back a little and looked up at me. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and I had never seen her eyes so bright. She looked down a little shy. "Look we don't have to figure anything out right now. All I know is that I- I want this –us- whatever," she said looking back up at me.

I smiled at her, "I want this so damn bad. I want you, but are you sure?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't come to her senses and push me away.

"Shut up and kiss me." With that line, all my protests flew out the window. I kissed her with a fierce and burning need to feel her against me. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and held her tight. She ran her hands down my chest and bit my bottom lip, teasing me. I groaned in pleasure, then pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it to the side somewhere. I slipped a hand under the hem of her shirt and she shivered. As I lifted the hem of her shirt, she raised her arms to help me.

"God, you're beautiful." I kissed a path down her neck to the top of her bra and she whimpered. I lost it. I needed her more than I had ever needed anything. I lowered my hands to her ass and picked her up. She moved in sync with me, wrapping her legs around my waist and grinding into me. I carried her into the bedroom and gently threw her onto the bed. She squealed with surprise. She started to back up toward the center, but I grabbed her ankles and pulled her to the foot, quickly removing her shoes and her jeans.

Then I saw the fingerprint bruises around her hips that were still dark against her pale skin. "Chloe," I sighed as she went to cover herself. "No," I gently trace along the dark marks on her skin, and I see her wince. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could make it all go away." I trail kisses along each bruise, dragging my lips across her skin. "I won't let anybody hurt you." I continued to kiss her, working her into a frenzy, as my kisses traveled lower.

"Oh, god, Derek!" It was a beautiful seeing her like this, tossing her head, a bright flush running up her neck and across her chest.

I nuzzled, nipped, and licked my way back up her body. "You're beautiful, you know that?" I removed me jeans and settled above her, careful not to let her feel the full force of my weight. I carefully slid off her bra, uncovering her. The feeling of her skin against mine caused me to groan at the sensation.

She writhed against me, put pressure in all the right places. "Should I- Do-?" I looked at her questioningly, "Are you sure you want this?" I silently begged her not to change her mind.

"Derek, please!" She moaned against my mouth. She slid her hands to my hips and hooked her leg around mine, bringing us closer together.

I leaned over to my night stand to rummage through the drawer for a condom. I ran through the draw twice having no luck.

"Having trouble?" Chloe asked teasing me.

I blushed a little, "It's been a while."

Then she did something completely unexpected and laughed. I was so relieved to her laugh, I had missed it so much in the past week, that her amusement didn't even bother me. "I'm sorry, you just looked so embarrassed," She smiled and sighed, "Aren't we a pair?"

"Come here," I said pulling her into my side. I pulled the covers over us and was content to stay that way forever, just holding her close.


	5. Chapter 5

CHLOE's POV

[note: This chapter is set about two weeks after the last chapter. This chapter is also very different than anything I have ever written.]

I knocked on Derek's door for our Monday Movie night. It was my turn to pick the movie, his to cook. I was crazy to think that so much, yet so little had changed in the three weeks since I showed up on Derek's doorstep. We were still the same Derek and Chloe.

He answered the door and gave me a quick kiss in greeting. "Hi." He stepped back to let me in. "The haunting? Really? I think you secretly have a think for cheesy horror movies."

I shrugged with a smile.

"I just got back from the store. If you don't mind, you could finish putting up the groceries and I can start dinner," Derek suggested.

I nodded in agreement then went to pour myself a glass of wine. I started to sort through the plastic bags, humming as I went along. Then I stopped. Derek had bought a rather larger box of condoms. We hadn't had sex yet; we hadn't even approached rounding the bases since the first time. I didn't even know if we were together. I had kept wanting to bring it up, but I wasn't sure I wanted to deal with what would follow.

"Oh- uh-" Derek interrupted my train of thought. His cheeks were stained with embarrassment.

"Planning for a fun weekend?" I teased him.

"I just wanted to be prepared for next time. Not that there has to be a next time. I just didn't want to miss my chance if you wanted there to be a next time. Will there be a next time?" Derek spoke so rushed and flustered.

"What would you say if I wanted to . . . skip dinner?" I said walking over to him.

He was looking at me, trying to read between the lines. "What about the movie?"

"I already know how it ends." I could see his throat working as I stepped closer and place a hand on his chest.

His looked down at me and his lips parted, "Chloe." His brushed is lips against mine. This was a tender, slow connection. His hands slid along my hips pulling my closer.

"Please," I practically whimpered. With that word he gently picked me up, my feet wrapping around him, that box of condoms awkward crushed against my back. He lay me down on the bed, before removing his shirt. He leaned down, covering me. His hands slipped under the hem of my shirt, while he nipped and licked at my neck. My hands fisted in his hair.

"Please," I said lowered my hands the button of his jeans. He quickly took over, then made swift work of mine. I lifted my shirt over my head and unclasped my bra baring myself to him.

"You're so god damn beautiful," Derek said in a husky voice that showed exactly how much I was affecting him. He kissed me deeply then trailed his lips down my chin, while his hands drifted down my body.

When his hands were teasingly close to my core, I moaned, "Derek, please."

"What do you want?" he whispered in my ear.

"Touch me."

He slowly pulled my panties aside, "Like this?" His fingers slid inside my slick wet heat. I moaned from a pleasure I had never experienced before. I wanted more. I needed more. I tugged at the waistband of his boxers until they were no longer an obstacle, but then the reality of what was happened set in and I became nervous.

My first time had been taken from me. I wasn't a virgin anymore, but mentally I still felt like one. I had never given myself to someone. I had never even come close to this with another guy before. Not to mention this was Derek and it was quite possible that I was in love with him and-

"Chloe?" He had leaned in to kiss me, but stopped short.

I avoided his gaze, afraid he would see right through me.

"Chloe, look at me." He pulled my chin to force my gaze. He search my eyes for the answer to why I was acting so strange. "Chloe, talk to me."

"I- I've just never done this before," I mumbled completely embarrassed.

He smoothed a hand over my hair and kissed my forehead. "We don't have to do this. You know that I would wait for you right?"

I looked up at him, "But I want you. I want this Derek." I slid my heads up his chest and around his neck to pull him in or a kiss.

"Are you sure?" His grip on my hips tightening. I nodded. He rolled on a condom, then he lowered himself, trailing his lips over my body. He breached my breast, suckling and nipping, slowly moving downward. Desire spread through me. I arched against him. He nudged my thighs apart and the nerves began to return full force. But then Derek said the words I didn't even know I need to hear, "I love you."

"I love you too." I kissed him as he thrust into me. I was shocked by the incredible fullness.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked, searching my eyes. I nodded. He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed my tenderly. I rocked my hips against him. He groaned, "Fuck, Chloe." He moved over me faster, grinding an intense rhythm until tight spasm rocked my body. He kissed me, muffling his moan as he came after me. He collapsed beside me, pulling me on top of him in the process, and for a while we just lay there, our hearts still pounding, our skin still damp. He carefully pulled out of me, then tucked me into his side, fitting the covers over us.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up the next morning, slightly sore but feeling extremely sated. I could feel Derek against me, his hand lightly trailing along my body.

"Good morning," he said softly, his voice deep and gravelly from sleep.

I turned to him, mumbling, "Good morning," as I kissed him.

"How do you feel?" he asked, pushing the hair from my eyes.

I was about to answer perfect when a sudden wave of nausea hit me. "Actually sick," I said quickly hurrying to the bathroom and shutting myself in. Bits of the dinner we finally had gotten around to eating last night made a reappearance. "Ugh," I groaned. I waited for the queasiness to pass before I stood, splashing some cold water on my face.

There was a soft knock at the door. "Chloe, are you okay?"

"I need to go home."

Derek tried to get me to stay, saying he could take care of me, but I didn't want to be sick. I just needed to sleep it off and I would be fine in the morning. I told him I would stop by a pharmacy on the way home and get something to ease my stomach.

I was wondering the CVS isles, looking for some Pepto-Bismol when a little girl came up to me. "Did you know today is my birthday?"

Her mom came hurrying after her, "Gabby leave the lady alone." She smiled at me, "They are a blessing, but you're constantly scrambling to keep up with them. Good luck!" Then just as quickly they were walking back down the aisle.

I was confused, until I realized what I was on. I was standing in front of pregnancy tests, they mother must have thought I was pregnant. But then the realization that I was late landed like lead in my stomach. "Oh god."

I hurried home and took the test, but when the time came to check the results, I couldn't bring myself to look. I couldn't be pregnant, but what if I was?

"Tori, I need you to get over here immediately. It's an emergency."

She came to the door, "You really need to stop calling me over like this. It's going to get somebody killed. Now what's the big emergency?"

I could barely speak, "Bathroom. It's in the bathroom."

She walked over, not a care in the world, then I heard a shriek, and Tori came bursting out of the bathroom. "You've been holding out on me. You didn't tell me you slept with Derek! How was he? I bet he is hung. He's a stallion isn't he?"

"Tori! Focus! What does the test say?"

"Oh, right, yeah you're definitely pregnant," she said nonchalant.

I sunk to the ground. I looked up at Tori, tears already welling in my eyes.

"Oh, honey. I know you are terrified, but I know you will work it out," she said comforting me.

"It's not Derek's," I said trying to make her understand.

"Oh," she said, "Oh! Shit!" I could see the truth dawning on her.

What was I going to do?


	7. Chapter 7

"He called again," Tori said from my kitchen. She had decided that since I would be needing my wine for the next six months that she would take some off my hands. "You can't just ignore him. Tell him something, anything. He's worried about you."

"And what exactly am I supposed to tell him? I haven't even wrapped my head around the idea that I could be a mother yet. I have no idea what I am going to do," I said slowly starting to freak out again.

Tori sat down beside me with a sigh. "Let me ask you something. Do you love him?" I nodded without hesitation. "Then you are going to need him. You have a lot of decisions to make. If anything, he is your best friend and you're going to need his support. Tell him. He loves you. It will all work out, but it's going to sound a lot better coming from him."

I nodded. "Okay"

After calling Derek, he asked if he could come over, I paced around my apartment. He said he needed to talk to me, to see me. I was slowly losing my nerve the longer it took me to get him to arrive. I looked around the house, seeing all the things that would have to change. I would have to baby proof the place, start saving. It was all so quick it seemed. All my plans were slowly changing. I had known I was pregnant all of 24 hours, but already I couldn't imagine not having the baby. I had no idea how I was going to make it work, or what I was going to do once the baby got here. It was my responsibility though.

A knock at my door interrupted my thoughts. "Chloe?" I heard softly through the door.

I finally put one foot in front of the other and made it to the door. He was smiling, happy to see me. I could tell he was worried though, by the lines in his forehead. I had been ignoring him, and hadn't even realized that I missed him. That was crazy though. It had only been a day since I had seen him last. But Tori was right, just the sight of him brought home exactly how much I needed him, needed him in my life, needed his support.

"Can we talk?" Derek asked. "I just need-"

I interrupted him, "There's something I need to tell you first." He looked a little surprised, but look at me expectantly. "I- Well it seems that I am- I'm pregnant," I said finally meeting his eyes.

He smiled, "I don't think it works that fast." He thought I was trying to tell him the baby was his.

I tried to smile, but I felt sick to my stomach. "I know. It's not-Derek, the baby isn't yours." He looked so confused for a minute, but I could see on his face the moment he realized the truth of what I was saying. He sat there shocked into silence for so long. "Say something. Please."

Then he looked at me, right in the eyes. I could see my love for him reflect back in his gaze. "Move in with me," he blurted.

"What?"

"I came here to ask you anyway. Move in with me. I love you. I want to be there for you. I don't know much about any of this, but you're going to need help. I want to help. I want you to move in with me," He was so sincere in his plea.

I didn't even know how to react. It was all too much. I burst into tears. He pulled me into his chest and kissed my hair, rubbing my back. His comfort unleashed a loud sob from my chest. "Shh, it's okay. We will figure it out."

"I can't let you do that. I can't. You have your plans. We haven't even talked about us. Hell, we haven't even been on a date. I don't expect this from you. I know it's crazy, but I want to have this baby. I didn't ask for this, but I can't imagine not going through with it. It's probably crazy considering I have no idea how to raise a kid or how I can afford it, but I want this. I can't put that on you."

"If you weren't pregnant and I had come here today and asked you to move in with me, what would you have said?" I started to speak but he continued, "Look I want you with me, I want whatever you want. Baby or no baby, together or not, I am going to be here for you."

I started crying again, but through my tears I manage to push out one word. "Yes"

"What?" Derek asked, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I'll move in with you," I said, my voice slightly stuffy.

Derek broke out in a grin. He kissed me fiercely, then pulled me close, just standing there holding me tightly against his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

3 months later: Chloe's POV

After searching three different stores, I finally found the one. I had been slowly trying to by the major things for the baby and finding the right crib had been giving me hell. We didn't have a lot of space because even if Derek's apartment was bigger, it was still only one bedroom. I wanted something affordable that would work with the already existing furniture. I figured I shouldn't completely emasculate his place.

It was real wood with a dark stain. The only reason I got such a good deal is because it was from a consignment shop and the feet were a little banged up. Getting everything ready made it feel real. Sometimes that scared the shit out of me, but sometimes it just made me smile. Don't get me wrong I was nervous as hell, but now that is was happening I wanted the baby.

When the taxi pulled up to the building, the driver offered to carry the box for the crib for me. I couldn't tell whether he was being friendly or a little too friendly so I declined, "No thank you. I have someone to help me." Derek should be home by now. As the yellow cab pulled away, I dialed his number but didn't get an answer.

The box wasn't too heavy though, so I managed to get it up the stairs in one piece. I was dragging it into the bedroom when I caught sight of myself in a mirror. My hair was a mess, falling into my face and I was already starting to show. Even with a baggy shirt, my small frame did a poor job of concealing the fact that I was pregnant. Derek had started to notice. Every once in a while I would catch him staring. I still hadn't figured out what exactly that look meant. I couldn't blame him though. I hadn't decided how I felt about it either. That small little bump meant that everything in my life was about to change and not just for the next nine months or the next eighteen years but for the rest of my life. I'm about to be responsible for someone, another person. How do you even come to terms with that?

I was in the middle of assembling the crib when Derek walked in from a run, a sight to be seen. He was sweaty and shirtless, with his short slung low on his hips. He took a long swig of his water before walking over to give me a kiss. "Hey," he said against my lips. Then he noticed the mess behind me. "What's that?"

"A crib for the baby," I answered.

"Where did it come from?"

"I bought it."

He examined it closer, "Did you tip the delivery guy?"

"What?"

"Did you tip whoever brought it to the room?"

"I'm pregnant, Derek, not helpless." I said rolling my eyes, "I carried it up the stairs." This was an argument we had been having lately. Derek would fuss over me like I was made of glass. I don't get it. There are women who work all the way through their pregnancy, but three months in and he does want me to lift anything, or move to fast, or basically do anything for myself.

"You what? That's four flights of stairs! You can't be doing the things. You have to think! Don't be stupid."

That however, was a new insult. I could feel my tempter rising. "Do not treat me like I'm an idiot. I know what I can and cannot handle. If I thought I was putting the baby in danger I would have waited for you. I can't handle this. You tell me what to do like I'm a child now. You don't know anymore about parenting than I do, but I do know one thing. I am going to make mistakes, but they are mine to make. I've been taking care of myself for a long time now and I've been doing just fine. Please stop treating me like I don't know how to live my own life, because guess what? It's mine, not yours. My mistakes. My problems. My life." I could feel the heat in my face from yelling. But the flush wasn't entirely from anger, I was embarrassed at my behavior, but I was so frustrated with the way he was treating me. He walked on egg shells. It's like he didn't even see me as Chloe anymore. He wasn't acting like the Derek I fell in love with.

"Yeah, I guess that's another thing that isn't mine. Kind of like that kid growing inside you, but you know what is? This apartment. So why don't you just leave," Derek yelled, "If you don't need me, then you can go. You don't want to be here, then get the hell out."

His words felt like a slap to the face. I looked around the apartment that I had been living in for the past three months. I guess it was silly to think of it as ours. All my stuff might have been there, but Derek paid the bills. I suddenly felt defeated. "Okay," I said, before picking up my purse and walking out the door.

When I got to the bottom floor and stepped out on the street, I realized that I didn't have any of my things or anywhere to live. So I started walking to Tori's to give myself time to think.

By the time I got to Tori's the only thing I had decided was that I really wanted tequila shots, but of course being pregnant I can't just drink away my sorrows. Plus, drinking would make me cry, and I wanted to be angry a little longer. I showed up at her door completely overcome.

Tori opened the door, "What did the asshole do? You look like hell."

And just like that I was crying. It struck me how much I wished I could talk to my mother about this. Then I realized I was gonna be a mother and I just lost it. What if I had a daughter? I would have to give her advice about boys and life and all this stuff that I was just starting to figure out. How was I supposed to do that? What if I had a son? How was I going to be a dad and a mom? I just wanted someone to tell me what to do.

"Honey, come here," Tori pulled me inside and just held me. "It will be okay. Sit down and tell me what happened."


End file.
